It really feels like I’m slipping back into my old habits and I don’t know what to do.
I stay up at all hours of the night, I’m drinking every night, I binge and purge every night and I’ve been taking laxatives every night for almost 3 weeks. I hate myself for allowing myself to slip back into my old habits.
I’m so afraid that I’ll start losing all the weight that I recently gained and become sick again, but apart of me wants to lose that weight. I hated my body. I looked like a 10 year old boy. I didn’t want anyone to see me or touch me.
Then why is a part of me standing there with open arms screaming "Welcome back, I missed you!!" ?!?!